Sitting on top of a table during a talk? Groundbreaking!
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"Sir, I tried calling you Parag for semester 1 but now I've reverted to the comfort of Sir." I got a message from a student and it made me uncomfortable. There's this unnecessary distance that these words add between two sides of a conversation right? The moment 'Parag' becomes 'Sir' he loses his opportunity to learn from his students (because you know, he should know EVERYTHING already.) and the learning minds lose the space to demand explanations when needed (because you know, how dare they?). You might feel that this is an exaggerated argument but really think about it. When have you ever freely questioned a 'sir' or a 'madam' and have easily gotten a clear answer? When has a 'sir' or a 'madam' reached out to you and asked you a doubt or simply brainstormed an idea as a fellow thinker? It's not a very common situation, if I'm not wrong.
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The entire argument that 'This is how it's always been, it's a mark of respect.' fails to convince me, because that hints to the idea that the said respect is either performative or habitual or only present because of the designation, and that reality leaves me troubled. I personally would want someone to respect me/my work because they genuinely feel it. And then whether they call me 'sir' or not, is their choice. We talk about owning our voices and having an open discourse and how important all that is, but for that to actually happen it's essential that it begins with our learning spaces. A 'sir' or a 'madam' has to be accessible and approachable so that an open conversation can take place and ideas can be exchanged and for that tables must be turned and chairs must be moved around.
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I know this sounds quite idealistic, borderline fantastical and I know that there is no one quick solution to this. It is quite deeply rooted in our very being. I am also equally burdened with this baggage tbh. But I know that it's possible and I'm trying my best, in my own lil way, to make sure that the weight of a chair doesn't stop me from having an honest conversation with a person. If we all need to sit on top of tables for that, well, I'm already there. :)
October 3 2022
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